Nth Time

How many times did I look at my phone to check if he called...
Nth time.

How many times I texted and waited for a response...
Nth time.

How many hours did I wait because he said he's going to come over...
Nth time.

How many times I told myself he is not mine...
Nth time.

How many times I wish I can hold him whenever I want...
Nth time.

How many times I refuse to believe he has a band on his finger, goes home to his wife, and doesn't care for me as much...
A Thousand nth time.

:-(

Love Blinds Self-Respect

Raise your hand if in any point in your life you didn't experienced a lost of little of self-respect because you have loved someone so much even though you know it was forbidden or really cannot be "us" in long term, but here you are crying your heart out because he cannot give you what you want- his self.

He sends you flowers. He sings for you. He brings you food. He opens the door for you. He brings you medicine. He cooks for you. He holds your hands crossing the street. He listens on your rantings. He laughs on your silliness. He plays your favorite song. He says "I love you" at unexpected times. He drives long hours to see you. He picks you up at work. He upsets you with his forgetfulness. He gives you a kiss before he go. He hugs you when you're not looking. He makes you mad when he doesn't call. He forces you to put Bruce Willis on the dvd player. He lets you complain at the restaurant. He fixes things you break in the house. He carries your boxes out of the house. He puts the trash out.

He do things for you.He makes you feel things.He shows you ways.And he knows how to break the magic in just one flip of a finger. And poor 'lil 'ol you... because no matter what, it can't be the both of you.

With reasons beyond your control, he would always belong to his wife, he would always be protective of what is his, he would always be afraid to commit, and he would always be the man you wish you can have... for good.

He Said....

TO MY FRIEND...



this was supposed to be a long blog entry...

but it might look like a novel...

so for my friend who's told me her life's filled with darkness...

this is my message for you...

"remove your sunglasses. hiding your teary eyes deprives you from seeing the bright side..."

-- awww... this friend of mine just always know the right words at the right time... only this time, i have learned to wear my sunglasses but not to hide my teary eyes...

10 Thing I HAte About You

I hate the way you talk to me

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car;

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick.

It even makes me rhyme.

I hate it -- I hate the way you're always right;

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh;

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around

and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you --

not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

See, being mushy over mushy movies isn't that bad... :)

Romance vs Love

The Difference Between Romance and Love

(Marjorie Holmes)

• Romance is fleeting...Love is long.
• Romance is dancing in the moonlight. Gazing deep into desired eyes across a candlelit table... Love is saying: "you're tired, honey, I'll get up this time" - and stumbling through the darkness to comfort a crying child.
• Romance is suspense, anticipation, a surprise...Love is dependability.
• Romance is tingling excitement...Love is tenderness, constancy, being cherished.
• Romance is eager striving to appear attractive to each other...Love is two people who find beauty in each other no matter how they look.
• Romance is flattering attentions...Love is genuine thoughtfulness.
• Romance feeds on itself and thus is self consuming.
• Romance is delicious...Love nourishes.
• Romance is seeking perfection...Love is forgiving faults.
• Romance is flying...Love is safe landing.
• Romance is the anguish of waiting for the phone to ring to bring you a voice that will utter endearments... Love is the anguish of waiting for a call that will assure you someone else is happy and safe.
• Romance can't last...Love can't help it.

One question: "CAN LOVE SURVIVE WITHOUT A LITTLE ROMANCE?"